The Newton™ Scapegoat

"We have no government."

2009-06-23T11:23:00.000-07:00

Overheard during a major war:

"You can't overthrow our government. We have no government!"

eval

2009-01-13T10:48:00.000-08:00

From a cow-orker:

> just out of curiosity, what does $mike evaluate to?

Hmmm,

$ php -r 'echo "\$mike=$mike\n";'
$mike=

$ perl -e 'print "\$mike=$mike\n";'
$mike=

$ ruby -e 'print "\$mike=",$mike,"\n";'
$mike=nil

Apparently, nothing.

Stuisms

2008-08-08T23:33:00.001-07:00

Daddy, when all the people are up in heaven what will God do with the earth?

A simile is like a metaphor...

2008-08-06T12:39:00.000-07:00

Well, a simile is like a metaphor. [...] OK, so think of a metaphor as an analogy. [...] Right, so an analogy is to a comparison as a parallel is to a correspondence...

phonebook edition

2008-07-23T17:27:00.001-07:00

Fall of 1985. The phonebook edition of Inside Macintosh arrived. It was sent in a huge yellow manilla envelope, which the USPS had completely trashed. Amazingly, the book itself was still in good condition. I had acquired the Macintosh Development System disks from Tom, and spent many a happy hour browsing through the manual trying to figure out how to create programs for my Macintosh 512K. I recall thinking, “Gee, these people are really smart. I bet it would be cool to work with them.”

Summer of 1988. I am unpacking a box of books in Bandley 3. Among the many volumes I find my tattered old phonebook edition of Inside Macintosh. I recall the day it first arrived, and how much fun I had reading it. Then, suddenly I realize that I am now working at the company where the Macintosh was created. Not only that, I was in the very building where most of the code documented in that battered old book was written.

Spring of 1991. I just joined the Newton group (which was not called that, but I can't remember what is was called then; perhaps the Advanced Products Group?). I was unpacking a box of books in Bubb 5, and came across that beloved phonebook edition of Inside Macintosh. I remembered the rush when I unpacked it in Bandley 3, and in double-flashback style the awe when I first started reading it back in college. And then I realized, not only was I working at the same company, but I was now working with some of the original Macintosh developers (Larry, Steve).

Summer of 2008. We finally emptied out the storage unit (Door-To-Door are highway bandits, by the way). Of course, that meant sifting through 20 boxes of books looking for keepers. And there it is, my old friend the phonebook edition of Inside Macintosh. It's been more than ten years since I worked at Apple. The company today bears little resemblance to the “no adult supervision” one I worked at. But I still remember sitting in Bubb 5 and realizing that I was living the dream.

Speaking of "Knock Knock" jokes...

2008-06-21T23:50:00.001-07:00

http://www.dadhacker.com/blog/?p=1024

Sam: Knock, knock!

Me: Who's there?

Sam: Banana

Me: Banana who?

Sam: Knock, knock!

Me: Who's there?

Sam: Banana

Me: Banana who?

Sam: Knock, knock!

Me: Who's there?

Sam: Banana

Me: BANANA WHO?

Sam: Knock, knock!

Me: Who's there?

Sam: Orange

Me: Orange who?

Sam: Orange aren't you glad I didn't say "banana?"

Whither Ars?

2008-06-05T11:36:00.001-07:00

Ars Technica is one of the few tech news sites I read regularly. I can usually count on them to provide interesting articles on relevant topics about current and future technology. They aren’t as hardcore geeky as Tom’s Hardware or Anand Tech, and the articles are more thoughtful and informative than c|net or ZDNet.

At least, they used to be.

Over the last year or so, I’ve noticed the tone of the site has changed. There are new contributors, and pieces from the Old Guard (Stokes, Siracusa, Jade, Fisher) are harder to find. Not that new blood is bad, far from it. But with the new faces came a new style. The headlines are “clever” and have “bite,” while the articles are more “edgy” and “slick.” They are also “shorter” with less “information.”

I suppose this kind of change is inevitable, as Condé Nast works to get some return on its investment.

I could toss out a lot of sardonic hyperbole about the decline of news media, designed mostly to show you how clever I am. But I'll leave that to the professionals.

Instead I’ll just ask where I can find the Internet equivalent of The News Hour?

Twitter is an electronic cocktail party

2008-05-30T21:25:00.001-07:00

No, really.

Entreprenerd

2008-05-29T21:59:00.001-07:00

This evening Pat says, "You're not an entrepreneur, you're an entreprenerd."

I thought that was pretty clever, until I saw the domain was registered in 2002. All the good ones are taken...

Stuisms

2008-05-01T10:55:00.001-07:00

You don't want to eat a skunk, because that would scare it and then he would spray you.

Bread bags in your boots

2008-01-29T11:12:00.001-08:00

My sister sent me a birthday card in which she reminisced about sledding down Linden St. I had forgotten that mom put bread bags on under the boots to keep our socks dry.

Stuisms

2007-12-26T14:33:00.000-08:00

“He's hurt.”

“How did he get hurt?”

“He fell.”

“How did he fell?” [sic]

“He tripped.”

“How did he trip?”

“On a rock.”

“Why did the rock trip him?”

The Romans

2007-12-16T08:51:00.001-08:00

“Daddy, who were the people who killed Jesus and nailed him to a cross?”

“The Romans.”

“Thanks, Daddy. Stuart, we’re the Romans!”

The Data Age

2007-10-22T11:04:00.001-07:00

A friend of mine reminded me this morning of a trite little aphorism I coined some years back:

It's not the Information Age, it's the Data Age.

History

2007-07-18T01:24:00.001-07:00

"Those who do not repeat history are bound to have learned it."

Samisms

2007-06-29T15:36:00.003-07:00

I wish everyone in the world could yell their favorite thing at the same time. Then we would be the noisiest planet, and God would say, "Shhhh!"

Samisms

2007-06-29T15:36:00.001-07:00

Mommy, did you know Dark Vader is a Jedi Knight? He is on the Dark side. He used to be Light Vader. He uses a light saver. [Not a dark saver? -Ed.] I like him 'cause he's cool.

The Six Stages of Debugging

2007-06-05T13:52:00.001-07:00

Of course, if you Google for it you will see many people quoting this, but here is the original as formulated in RD5 while slaving away on Dante:

The Six Stages of Debugging

That can't happen.
That doesn't happen on my machine.
That shouldn't happen.
Why is that happening?
Oh, I see.
How did that ever work?

Back to MarsEdit

2007-03-16T22:39:00.001-07:00

Well, I tried ecto a couple of times, but couldn't figure out how to make it work.

“If at first you don’t succeed, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.” –W.C. Fields

Ecto

2007-03-14T10:29:00.001-07:00

Tried Ecto 2.4.2 but I couldn't get it to work... ?

MarsEdit

2007-03-14T01:34:00.001-07:00

Here is a post using MarsEdit 1.1.5. Let's see how it looks...

huh

2007-03-14T01:29:00.000-07:00

so this is what a blog looks like on the inside...